Fei Xiaotong's "differential mode of association," echoing Confucian values, describes social ties expanding from the individual, akin to water ripples. Love and duty strengthen with relational closeness, with family receiving deepest attention. Yet, Confucianism's virtue of Ren (benevolence) extends universally, advocating respect and empathy adjusted by relational distance. Like water filling a vessel before spilling out, care starts with close kin then broadens. Thus, Fei's concept supports a tiered relational approach, balancing familial loyalty with wider human kindness, embodying Confucian values of harmony and hierarchy.
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A discussion on "differentiated benevolence"
•Does professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" suggest that Confucians claim a stronger love toward one’s own family, while the love grows thinner to others? How do you understand the extension of love in Confucianism?
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Professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" may have its own unique connotations, the extension of love in Confucianism is a profound and expansive idea that starts from the family but does not end there. It encompasses all of humanity and even the natural world, reflecting a deep sense of empathy, compassion, and moral responsibility.
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The Confucian concept of 'unequal love' does not contradict universal love. Here, 'unequal status' does not imply favoritism or unequal rights, but is based on the natural emotions and ethical differences of human beings. The Confucian concept of 'unequal love' emphasizes the establishment of a harmonious and friendly relationship of mutual understanding and empathy between people, which provides important theoretical references for solving the problems of moral and value reconstruction in modern society.
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The concept of "Love with Different Degrees" doesn't mean that Confucianism claims that the love for one's own family is strong while the love for others becomes weaker and weaker.
"Love with Different Degrees" is a Confucian idea. It acknowledges that in terms of emotions, people have differences in the closeness and intensity of love for those with different relationships, such as relatives, friends, etc. Confucianism advocates that such love is based on a natural emotional hierarchy. For example, the love of children for their parents is different in emotional intensity from the love for strangers.
This doesn't imply that the love for others is weak or unimportant. Confucianism also promotes "extending oneself to others" and "loving the masses widely". Taking the love for family members as the foundation, it extends the benevolent heart outward layer by layer. Phrases like "Care for the elders of others as one does for one's own elders, and care for the children of others as one does for one's own children" reflect that while caring for one's own family members, one should also show concern for the elders and children of others, extending love from the family to a broader social group.
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Professor Fei Xiaotong's "love of differentiation" is not entirely equivalent to the Confucian concept of differential love, but there is a certain correlation between the two.The difference between "love of differentiation" and Confucian loveFei Xiaotong's "love of differentiation" is mainly based on the hierarchical pattern of traditional Chinese kinship relationships, with "I" as the center to promote social relationships outward. This kind of love will have varying degrees of expression depending on the distance of kinship relationships. Although Confucianism emphasizes the difference between love for family and love for others, it is not simply about having stronger love for family and thinner love for others. Confucianism advocates starting from love for loved ones, as Mencius said, "Affection - benevolence towards the people - love for things". First, love for loved ones, and then gradually extend this love to others and all things. It is a kind of love that is orderly, differentiated, and constantly extends and expandsUnderstanding the Extension of Confucian LoveAt the family level: Confucianism believes that marriage should be built on the basis of "benevolence, propriety, righteousness, wisdom, and trustworthiness", as mentioned in the Book of Rites, which emphasizes the responsibilities and obligations between husband and wife to maintain family harmony and stabilityAt the social level: Confucius' philosophy of "establishing oneself and others, achieving oneself and reaching others" and "Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself" advocates extending love for family to care for friends and others in society, promoting social harmony by extending oneself to othersOn the level of all things: Mencius' "loving the people with affection, loving the people with kindness, and loving things with kindness" reflects Confucianism's expansion of love from humans to all things in heaven and earth, believing that humans should care for all things in nature, coexist harmoniously with nature, and demonstrate a broad moral concern and ecological consciousness.
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The extension of love in Confucianism is a nuanced and complex concept that begins within the family but extends to society at large. It recognizes different levels of love and respect based on social hierarchy and relationship, and promotes reciprocal love and mutual respect. While Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" may not directly align with this interpretation, it is worth considering how Confucian ideas of love can be applied and extended in modern society.
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The concept of "ren'ai" in Confucianism is hierarchical and differentiated, but this does not imply that such love is diminishing or confined solely within the family. According to Confucianism, love should begin with oneself and then extend to the family, clan, and further to society, the state, and even all people under heaven. This love is orderly, but it does not mean that the intensity of love diminishes as its scope expands.Therefore, Confucianism's "differentiated love" does not refer to a decrease in the degree of love as the object changes, but rather to differences in the order and scope of love. This love embodies both the close relationships between individuals and the harmony and order of human society.
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Discussion on "Differentiated Benevolence"
I. Regarding the Relationship between Fei Xiaotong's "Differentiated Love" and the Perceived Notion in Confucianism
Professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" in the context of the "differentiated pattern" describes a social structure where relationships radiate outwards from an individual like ripples in water, with closer relationships being more intense and influence waning as the distance from the center (oneself) increases.
However, it is a misinterpretation to simply say that Confucianism claims an extremely strong love only towards one's own family with negligible love for others. Confucianism does emphasize a certain order of love based on different relationships, but it doesn't mean a dismissive attitude towards those outside the immediate family circle.
II. Understanding the Extension of Love in Confucianism
1. Foundation in Natural Affections:
Confucian love starts from natural affections within the family, such as the love between parents and children, and the filial piety of children towards parents. This is the most basic and instinctive manifestation of human emotions. Based on this, the love extends outwards. For example, from loving one's own parents, one can learn to respect and care for the elders in society, following the principle of "treating the elders of others as one treats one's own elders, and treating the young of others as one treats one's own young".2. Building Social Order:
The idea of love with a certain order in Confucianism helps to construct a stable social order. In the family, the emphasis on family love ensures family harmony. When extended to society, it forms the norms for relationships like those between the ruler and the subjects, and among friends. For instance, the concept of "the ruler being a proper ruler, the subject being a proper subject, the father being a proper father, and the father being a proper father" clarifies the responsibilities and emotional connections among different roles in society.3. Cultivation of Moral Character:
The order of love in Confucianism is also a way to cultivate an individual's moral character. Starting from loving family members, one nurtures the heart of benevolence and then extends this love to others, continuously expanding one's moral emotions and behaviors. Through this process, one aims to achieve the moral realm of becoming a sage or a person of virtue.4. Dynamic Balance in Practice:
In real life, Confucian love is not rigid. When faced with choices of great righteousness, there can be love and responsibility that transcend the boundaries of close relationships. For example, in history, many loyal ministers and righteous people were willing to sacrifice their personal interests and even lives for the sake of national and ethnic righteousness. This is a higher-level practice and sublimation of Confucian love.In conclusion, Confucianism's view of the extension of love is a complex and dynamic concept that encompasses both the natural progression from family affections and the broader application in building a harmonious society and cultivating moral character, rather than a simplistic view of differential love as might be misconstrued.
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Professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differential sequence pattern" indeed reflects the Confucian idea that there is a deeper emotional bond with one's family, and this love gradually diminishes as the relationship becomes more distant. In Confucian thought, love is orderly, starting from within the family and then gradually extending to wider social relationships, such as neighbors, friends, society, and even the world at large. This extension of love embodies the principle of moving from near to far, from close to distant, but it does not mean a complete lack of care for those who are further away. Instead, it emphasizes the hierarchical nature of responsibilities and obligations.
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There are similarities between the two. However, the thought of Confucianism does not simply mean that the love for one's own family is stronger while the love for others is weaker. The Confucian concept of "graded love" is based on the love of blood relatives. This kind of love is not weak towards others. Instead, it takes natural emotions as the starting point and follows the order from the near to the far, from the close to the distant to express and practice love, gradually expanding the scope of love. Confucianism advocates maintaining social order through "graded love", believing that if everyone can first love their own family members and then extend this love to society, social harmony and stability can be achieved.
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In Confucianism, the extension of love starts from love within the family like filial piety, then expands to friends, neighbors and the general public at the social level. Meanwhile, it's also a process of cultivating personal moral character, aiming to build harmonious interpersonal relations and social order.
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Of course we should attach greater importance to our beloved ones, such as our family members and close friends. It's about priority and I don't think that's controversial. That's the nature of society and is universal in varied cultures. However, we shall not be indifferent and aloof to others who are not close to us. In China, we generally extend to strangers and public concerns.
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In the context of "One Modern Way of Reading Confucianism," the concept of "爱有差等" (extended love that differentiates our attitudes towards the family from those of others) does not imply a diminishing love for outsiders. Instead, it reflects the natural hierarchy of human relationships, where love for one's immediate family is inherently deeper due to shared blood, history, and daily interactions. This does not mean that Confucians neglect or love others less; rather, they recognize the unique bond within the family while also emphasizing the importance of extending benevolence and compassion to all. The key is balance, nurturing strong family ties while also fostering a sense of community and care for those beyond our immediate circle. Thus, Confucianism advocates a harmonious coexistence of differentiated love within a framework of universal benevolence.
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In family relationships, benevolence has distinctions in terms of closeness and distance. People will first care for their parents, brothers and other relatives. Then, they will gradually expand the scope of their love according to the degree of closeness of the relationships. This is not being selfish, but rather a natural manifestation that conforms to human nature.
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The "differentiated love" proposed by Professor Fei Xiaotong does not mean that Confucianism advocates stronger love for one's own family and weaker love for others.
The love emphasized by Confucianism is a love that extends out successively and hierarchically. First of all, they have deep feelings for their loved ones, which is based on the natural emotional connection generated by blood and long-term living together. But that doesn't mean loving others any less.
Confucianism advocates that through self-cultivation, love for loved ones is gradually pushed outward. Love for one's family is the foundation that fosters a sense of kindness in one, which then naturally extends to those around one and to the wider community. This kind of love is not given to all people with equal intensity, but it varies according to the closeness of the relationship, but it does not mean that love of family does not mean love of others.
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The expansion of Confucian love is a process from the individual to the family, then to the society and the state. This process involves not only the distribution of emotions, but also the fulfillment of moral and social responsibilities. Professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differential pattern" provides a powerful perspective for understanding how Confucianism extends love from the family to the wider society.
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This understanding is a misinterpretation. In Confucianism, the concept of "differentiated love" doesn't mean the love for others is thin. It's about an orderly expansion of love.The love starts from family as a center and extends outward like ripples in a pond. One loves family first, and then based on this, gradually extends care and benevolence to others, friends, society, and even the whole world. It's a hierarchical and inclusive concept aiming to achieve a harmonious social order through the spread of love and benevolence.
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First of all, I regard this differentiation not as something of discrimination but something within one's own capabilities.
As a human being, one must be aware that he is not omnipotent so he cannot deliver his love equally to others. Starting from caring for his own family is the basic point of love. Within one's capacity, he can further deliver his love to others. It is a consequential process that takes one's own situation into consideration.
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Fei Xiaotong's "differentiated love" is related to but not identical to the perception that Confucians prioritize family love which thins for others. Confucianism does stress starting love from the family as seen in the importance of filial piety. But its love doesn't halt there. It extends outward, like through the principle of empathizing with others and "treating others as you want to be treated," and also via the concepts of "loving the people" and "cherishing all things." In essence, while beginning with family love, Confucianism emphasizes its expansion for a harmonious coexistence among individuals, society, and nature.
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Confucianism does not advocate that love for family members is stronger than love for others, but emphasizes that the expression and responsibility of love should be different in different social relationships to adapt to different social roles and relationships. This view is not to suggest that love for other people will diminish, but rather to emphasize that the expression and depth of love will vary in different relationships. So this view is wrong.
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Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" is in line with the view that Confucians have a stronger love for their own families, and this love gradually weakens as the relationship becomes more distant. In Confucianism, love extends in the following ways:starting from Blood Ties，expanding to interpersonal relationships and extending to nature.
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According to Confucian thought, the love individuals feel is differentiated based on their social relations and responsibilities. For instance, the love for one’s family (often referred to as "xiaoping" or familial love) tends to be prioritized over love for acquaintances or strangers. This does not imply that love for others is absent or less valuable; rather, it acknowledges the different duties and emotional investments that are naturally present in varying types of relationships.
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The "differentiated love" in Mr. Fei Xiaotong's "pattern of difference sequence" doesn't mean that Confucianists have a strong love for their family members while having a weak love for others. In Confucianism, love starts from loving one's family and extends outward with it as the center. Through "putting oneself in others' shoes" and "caring for others' elders as one's own, and caring for others' children as one's own", the goal of "loving all people" and "loving the people and cherishing all things" can be achieved. It is not a simple decrease in quantity. Instead, it spreads and gets sublimated in the social relationship network, and finally aims to achieve a state of universal harmony and mutual love among people. The improvement of personal moral cultivation is also to better practice this kind of continuously extended and deepened love.
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The Confucian "inferior love" does not mean a stronger love for one's own family and a weaker love for others. Confucianism emphasizes that family love is the foundation, and this love can be extended to love for others in the way of self-promotion, which is an orderly and positive extension of love.
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