This view is wrong. Confucian "differentiated love" starts from family love as a base and extends outward in circles, aiming at "universal love", not loving family more and others less.
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A discussion on "differentiated benevolence"
•Does professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" suggest that Confucians claim a stronger love toward one’s own family, while the love grows thinner to others? How do you understand the extension of love in Confucianism?
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Fei Xiaotong's "differentiated love" doesn't mean Confucians love others less. In Confucianism, love starts from family as a base. But through concepts like the Golden Rule and "care for others' elders and children as one's own", love extends from family to society and nature, aiming for a harmonious whole.
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In Confucian thought, “love with distinction” doesn't mean that the love for one's own family is stronger while the love for others is thinner. Confucianism emphasizes benevolence and love. Loving one's family is the starting point, but it also encourages people to extend this love to others, such as friends, neighbors, and even strangers, through the cultivation of personal virtues and social ethics. This is a process of gradually expanding love, aiming to achieve harmony in society.
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Professor Fei Xiaotong’s concept of “differentiated love” indeed suggests a hierarchy of affections, with the strongest love being directed towards one’s immediate family, and this love diminishing in intensity as one moves outward to more distant social relationships. This concept is rooted in Confucian thought, which emphasizes the importance of familial relationships and the moral obligations that arise from them.
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Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" reflects the idea that love and affection are not uniform but rather depend on the relationship one has with others. In the context of Confucianism, this notion is often articulated through the concept of "ren" (仁), which can be understood as a form of benevolence or humaneness that encompasses various levels of love and ethical responsibility.
According to Confucian thought, the love individuals feel is differentiated based on their social relations and responsibilities. For instance, the love for one’s family (often referred to as "xiaoping" or familial love) tends to be prioritized over love for acquaintances or strangers. This does not imply that love for others is absent or less valuable; rather, it acknowledges the different duties and emotional investments that are naturally present in varying types of relationships.
The "extension of love" in Confucianism can be understood through the idea of the "five relationships" (五伦), which include the relationships between ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, elder brother and younger brother, and friend and friend. In each of these relationships, love and duty manifest differently, reflecting a hierarchy of care and responsibility.
Furthermore, Confucianism advocates for a gradual expansion of moral concern. While love begins within the family and close social circles, it ideally extends outward to encompass a broader societal responsibility. This is encapsulated in the idea of "loving all people" (兼爱), where the initial focus on familial love serves as a foundation from which individuals can develop a wider compassion and responsibility for society as a whole.
In summary, Fei Xiaotong's "differentiated love" aligns with Confucian principles, suggesting that while familial love is of primary importance, the potential for extending that love to a greater community exists, reflecting a moral progression from particular to universal affection. This layered understanding of love encourages individuals to cultivate their personal relationships while also aspiring toward greater societal harmony.
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Differentiated love means that Confucius advocated that his love for others should follow a certain order. Because people play different roles in society, different social relationships arise, such as fathers and sons, kings and ministers, husbands and wives, and other relationships. But no matter what kind of relationship, you need to have love and empathy for others.
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In Confucian culture, the so - called “differentiated benevolence” mainly refers to the concept of “love with distinctions.”
Hierarchical order in relationships
Confucianism emphasizes that benevolence is manifested differently according to different social relationships. For example, one should have a stronger sense of filial piety and respect towards parents and elders. Filial piety is the foundation of all virtues. Sons and daughters are expected to take care of their parents in daily life, both materially and spiritually.
Between siblings, there is fraternal love. The elder brother or sister should be kind and responsible, and the younger ones should show respect and obedience.
In the context of society and the state, loyalty is an important manifestation. Subjects should be loyal to the monarch (in the traditional feudal context), and this loyalty is also an expression of a kind of “benevolence” in the hierarchical social order.
Purpose and significance
This concept of differentiated benevolence is not meant to be unfair. Instead, it aims to establish a stable and harmonious social order. By clarifying the responsibilities and emotional bonds of different relationships, it provides a set of ethical norms and behavioral guidelines. It helps people to know how to interact with different people around them and enables society to operate in an orderly manner. It is an important part of the Confucian value system that was used to maintain family and social stability in traditional Chinese society.
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1. Misunderstanding of "Differentiated Love"
Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" in Confucianism is often misinterpreted as simply having a stronger love for one's own family and thinner love for others in a hierarchical and diminishing way. In fact, this is a misreading.
Confucian "differentiated love" starts from the family unit, which is a natural starting point based on human nature. Loving one's family is the most basic manifestation of love. For example, a person first learns to care for their parents and siblings within the family environment. This is not about exclusivity but about the origin of love cultivation.
2. The Extension of Love in Confucianism
Gradual Expansion
Confucian love is like concentric circles. Starting from family love, it gradually expands outward. One should first fulfill their filial piety and family responsibilities. For instance, Mencius said, "Treat your elders as elders, and extend it to the elders of others; treat your young ones as young ones, and extend it to the young ones of others." This shows that the love within the family is a model and starting point for loving others.
Universal Love with Hierarchy
It is hierarchical but aims at universal love in the end. While there is a sequence in loving, from family to friends, neighbors, and then to all people in society, the ultimate goal is to achieve a harmonious coexistence among all people. For example, in a Confucian - influenced community, people are expected to show different degrees of care according to their relationships. But at the same time, they should also have a sense of benevolence towards strangers. This is not a cold - hearted hierarchy but a practical way to promote love in society.
Cultivation of Moral Self and Influence on OthersThe extension of love is also related to the cultivation of an individual's moral self. By constantly expanding love from the family, an individual can improve their moral character. And a person with high moral character can influence others and promote the spread of love in society. For example, a gentleman in Confucianism, through his own moral practice starting from family - centered love, can become an example for others in the community, and gradually make the whole society more harmonious and full of love.
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Fei Xiaotong's "differentiated love" suggests that Confucianism prioritizes stronger love for one's family, with diminishing intensity towards others. However, Confucianism also promotes universal benevolence (ren), encouraging kindness and respect for all, thus balancing familial loyalty with broader social harmony.
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Fei Xiaotong's "differentiated love" doesn't mean Confucians love others less. Confucian love starts from the family but extends outward. It's like concentric circles, with family at the core. The love is intensive within the family and gradually extends to friends, neighbors, and all people, aiming to achieve harmony in society based on this graduated affection.
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No, Confucian love is undifferentiated love, it is to love other people's old people and children as you love your own family. The two are equal, not biased. -
From my perspective, this approach to love is pragmatic and recognizes the natural human tendency to have stronger bonds with those closest to us. It also acknowledges the practical limitations of extending the same level of care and concern to everyone in a vast social network. Confucian graded love promotes social harmony by encouraging individuals to fulfill their moral obligations within their immediate circles, which in turn contributes to a stable and orderly society.
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Confucian "differentiated love" is misinterpreted if seen as simply stronger family - centered love with diminishing love for others. It actually starts from family as the foundation for moral cultivation, extends to society through the principle of benevolence, and aims at an ideal state of universal harmony, with love gradually expanding from the family core to all.
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Professor Fei Xiaotong’s concept of “differentiated love” does not suggest that Confucians advocate a stronger love for one’s own family over others. Instead, it reflects the Confucian idea of ren’ai, a graded form of love. This concept acknowledges that love and care start with the family and then extend outwards in a concentric circle to include friends, community, and eventually society at large. It is about recognizing the natural and practical starting point for cultivating moral virtues. The extension of love in Confucianism is about gradually expanding one’s moral circle, promoting harmony, and fostering a sense of responsibility and care that begins at home and grows to encompass all of humanity.
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In Confucianism, the extension of love is embodied in the concept of "Ren" (benevolence), which advocates for a hierarchical yet expansive form of love. Originating from familial piety and parental love, this affection extends outward to include respect and care for elders, friends, and eventually all humanity. Confucius taught that by cultivating personal virtue and practicing empathy, individuals can harmonize society, promoting moral development and social order through this extended love.
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Confucians don't claim a stronger love toward one's own family while the love grows thinner to others. This view is a misunderstanding. Confucianism emphasizes benevolence and righteousness, which apply to all people, not just family members. The love and care should be extended to others equally, not diminishing as the relationship becomes more distant.
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The concept of “extended love” in Confucianism suggests that love starts with one’s family and then extends outward, gradually weakening as it moves further from the core. This does imply a stronger love toward one’s own family, but it doesn’t mean neglecting others. Instead, it reflects a practical approach to moral responsibility: beginning with those closest to us and extending care proportionally, thereby maintaining harmony within the family and society. However, this gradation could be critiqued for potentially limiting the emphasis on universal love.
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Professor Fei Xiaotong's"differentiated love"aligns with Confucian thought,emphasizing a hierarchy of love starting with family and extending outward.This concept suggests that love is strongest within one's immediate family and diminishes in intensity as it reaches beyond.Confucianism views love as a graded affection that begins with filial piety and expands to society,promoting social harmony through moral virtues cultivated within the family.Thus,Confucian love is not uniform but follows a structured order,prioritizing familial bonds before extending to the wider community.
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"Love" in Confucianism is family-centered and gradually expands outward. This kind of love is not equal, but different according to the relationship between relatives and relatives, which embodies the principle of love has difference. Confucian love is not unconditional. It is limited by social hierarchy and identity. Love between different people has different requirements and manifestations.
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Fei Xiaotong’s concept of “differentiated order” suggests that love is centered on the family and gradually decreases with relational distance, reflecting Confucian ideas of “love with distinctions.” Confucianism emphasizes starting with love for one’s family and extending it to others and society, but not treating everyone equally. Instead, it extends love in an ordered way based on relational closeness, aligning with human nature and maintaining social order.
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Fei Xiaotong's "differentiated love" does not mean that Confucianism advocates stronger love for one's own family, but emphasizes closeness and distance in family relationships. The concept of "differential pattern", proposed by Fei Xiaotong in Rural China, describes the pattern of interpersonal relations in traditional Chinese society, which takes oneself as the center and expands outward to form intimate and distant interpersonal relations. "Benevolence" in Confucianism is not limited to blood love within the family, but emphasizes "universal love", that is, love for all people. "Benevolence" in Confucian thought is a kind of universal love, the highest level of which should be love for all people, not just confined to the family . At the same time, the "differential pattern" proposed by Fei Xiaotong is not contradictory to the "benevolence" thought of Confucianism, but a specific description and explanation of Confucianism.
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Professor Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" indeed reflects a traditional Confucian view of social relationships, where relationships are hierarchical and based on differing degrees of emotional closeness and obligation. In this concept, love and moral responsibility start from the closest relationships, such as the family, and extend outward to more distant social groups. This is often summarized by the Confucian idea of "li," which refers to proper behavior in relationships and the performance of one's role according to one's place in a hierarchy.Fei Xiaotong's concept of "differentiated love" in Confucianism suggests a hierarchical extension of love starting from the family, with intensity diminishing as relationships extend outward, yet it still upholds universal moral principles. This approach balances familial bonds with broader societal responsibilities, aiming for social harmony and order, and has been reinterpreted in modern times to emphasize more egalitarian ethical concerns.
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Confucianism emphasizes that "benevolence and love" is a process that gradually expands from the love of family affection within the family to various levels of society. Confucianism believes that humans are born with a kind of familial love, which originates from the love between mother and son, gradually expanding to love among family members, and further expanding to love among all humans. This process of expanding love embodies the spirit of Confucianism, which is to treat others as if they were one's own family members.
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Confucianism holds that love is graded, meaning that the degree and manner of love for different people vary. This gradation does not imply that Confucianism advocates for a diminishing love for others, but rather emphasizes that the starting point and foundation of love are family and blood relations. Confucianism posits that if a person does not love their own kin, then their love for others is likely to be insincere. Therefore, Confucianism emphasizes beginning with filial piety towards parents and respect for elders, which is fundamental to achieving “benevolence” or “ren”.In Confucian thought, the extension of love is a process that expands from the near to the far, from the intimate to the distant. It starts with love for one’s relatives, then extends to love for friends and neighbors, and ultimately reaches a love for all people, which is known as “broad love for the masses”. This extension of love is not a simple arithmetic progression, but a dynamic process that includes respect for individual differences and care for universal humanity.
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The concept of "graded love" put forward by Confucius doesn't mean that.
Confucianism doesn't think that it's unnecessary to love outsiders. Confucianism emphasizes starting from the love for family members and then extending this love layer by layer. For example, the saying "Care for the elders of others as one's own, and care for the children of others as one's own" means that on the basis of caring for one's own family members, one should also use this love to show concern for other elders and children, which reflects a spirit of universal love.
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Professor Fei Xiaotongs concept of the differentiated loveindeed reflects the hierarchical understanding of love in Confucian thought.In Confucian culture,love is not dispensed equally to all but begins with the individuals family and gradually extends outward.This love starts with the closest family members and then expands to relatives,friends,the community,and eventually to the nation and the world.The expansion of this love does not imply that love for those outside the family is less important or diminishes;rather,it emphasizes the starting point and foundation of love.Confucianism holds that individuals should first cultivate and practice love within the family and then apply the principles of this love to broader social relationships.The development of this love from the inner circle to the outer is conducive to establishing a harmonious and orderly society.In modern society,this idea can be understood as the starting point for both personal and social responsibility.
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