In my parent-child relationship, there is something in common with those in the movie Joy Luck Club. When I was very young, my mother always prepared everything for me. I needed to dress the clothes that she had prepared for me. I needed to eat the food that she thought was good for my growth. But now, I have little limitations.
Just as the Chinese old saying goes,"Every family has a skeleton in the closet."The part of this movie impressed me most is the conversation between Lingdo Jong and her daughter Vivily.After a bitter quarrel before Vivily's wedding,Vivily said some truth she never told her mother,that indeed she just cares too much about her mother's attitude,even one word,one sight or one expression from her.It reminded me of my own experiences.At first,my parents and I were ashamed of expressing love and inner thoughts.We were stubborn and didn't explain anything.But for now,as I grew,I prefer communication and understanding.After overcoming the obstacle of mind,I can get along with my parents like close friends!
Waverly grew up as a chess prodigy and became a tool for her mother to boast to others. She hated her mother's behavior of showing off and saving face everywhere and refused to participate in chess tournaments as a sign of defiance, but was met with her mother's cold face and loss of self-confidence. Auntie Lindo always turned a sharp edge on her uncompromising daughter, destroying each other's pride with indifference. As is the case in Chinese education, it is extremely common for parents to have absolute authority over their children and little respect for their children's ideas. I felt the same way about "showing off the kids". But as I grew up and learned to communicate with my parents equally, these problems were solved naturally.
I find something in common with those in the moive Joy Luck Club. My mother also liked to make me a good child, but I was rebellious.As I was growing up, I had many arguments with my mother because of different ideas.But thankfully, my mother and I finally understand each other and are happy to live together.I was most impressed by the phrase:"You have beat-quality heart.You have style on one can teach.Must be born this way I see you."
The scene in the movie where Lindo and her daughter Waverly quarrel is the one I feel most familiar with. Waverly said she wouldn't play chess anymore, wouldn't let Lindo control her anymore. Lindo said at the dinner table that the girl did not understand her parents, and in turn, the parents did not care about her. It always happens when my mom and I fight and quarrel. In addition, Lindo told everyone his daughter's chess achievements to show off. My mother also tells people when I get good grades, though not as much as Lindo.
In general, some of Lindo's parenting and communication styles with her daughter are similar to my mother's to some extent. It seems that this is a characteristic of typical Chinese parenting style.
Of course. Actually in the movie Joy Luck Club, Lindo, Jingmei and other mothers are some kind of typical Chinese parents, who always impose great anticipation on their children and enjoy the honor which is earned by their children. When I was a kid, I was really good at drawing and I did win several awards. To live up to my father's expectations, I was forced to draw a lot even at weekends, which really annoyed me and made me fatigue. So I just had a talk with my parents, hoping to treat drawing as a common hobby instead of a professional skill or even a career. Luckily, my liberal parents knew what I meant and we finally reached an agreement.
I find the my mother is kind of like Lingdo, especially the way they act when facing an argument. Just like Lingdo, my mom has the method of "silent treatment", too. Sometimes I feel it hard for me to communicate with her on something that we have different ideas. But as I grow up, she change a lot and I find a better way to communicate with her.
From my perspective, those problems of parent-children relationships in the movie are ubiquitous and typical in China. In the process of growing, in general, my parents were liberal and redoubled their efforts to provide a relatively free environment for me. Nonetheless, it was inevitable that they also had some resemblances with representative Chinese parents. For instance, my father seldom paid me a compliment directly when I obtained some achievements. Instead, what was more crucial for him was sobering me to comprehend that modesty helps one to go forward while pride makes one fall behind. Almost every time the exhilarating news that I overtook most people excited me, his words, " Why don't you pay attention to people who are superior to you?", like a basin of cold water evoked my self-abasement and anxiety quickly. Perhaps he was content with my decent performances sometimes. However, in comparison with some extraordinary peers, my efforts and little achievements seem to be never adequate, just like June.
I’ve found a lot in common. For instance, my mother is just like any typical Chinese mother, possessive, hard to cross and is always ready to give me harsh comments. Same to Jane, I was once forced to practise instruments in spite of my dislike. Everyday I had a quarrel with her mother but still couldn‘t get rid of her stifling expectation.Meanwhile, she pushed me hard on my study. Luckily, after several times of crying and yelling, and some extra help from psychologist, we finally understood each other.
Two lines said by Auntie Lindo triggered my heart string. “What? Embarrassed you be my daughter?” and “This girl not have concerning for us. We not concerning this girl.” This scene happened just after Lindo’s daughter, Waverley, won the chess champion and Lindo just kept using her daughter to show off. I once had experiences almost the same as this one. First of all, to make it clear, I love playing the violin, but I cannot stand the fact that my mom sometimes kept using it as a weapon when it comes to comparing with other children. This speciality, to me, is a hobby. is something I would be delighted to do when I what to have some sort of diversion from y busy work. But her showing me off made me a little annoyed and now a would only play the violin behind closed doors - when she is not at home. The second experience I would like to share is when I enter high school, everybody just steps into the school and waves the parents goodbye. But my mom shouted out my nickname so loudly and told me to study hard and be happy. Really good intentions, but that made me not so happy. I told her about that after I went home. And she said the exact same words as Auntie Lindo: “What? Embarrassed to be my son?” This really made me a bit speechless, and she continued: “You do not care for me, so you won’t have shelter, food, drinks, or anything from me.”I know it’s not for real, but it is really sad that this kind of thought just seems to have been anchored so deeply in Chinese beliefs.
June and her mother remind me of some memories about my mother and I when I was in childhood. My mother hoped me to be a good, at least to be good in her standard. She liked to arrange things for me, which I hated very much. Just like June, I also shouted to my mother and told her I don't want to be her daughter. I struggled to obtain her praise but also refused to follow her words, as if I would lose my edge if I behaved too obediently. But when I grow up, I gradually understand my mother. No matter how I break her expectations and how we quarrel with each other, she still loves me and will give me support unconditionally. She is just bad at speaking pretty words, but she cares me very much.
The parent-child relationship between Suyuan and June impressed me most. For Suyuan, her early experience made her put a lot of expectations on June, but June often failed to meet her requirements. June's playmate Waverly was excellent, which made June feel humiliated and believed that she had disappointed her mother again and again. After class, I watched the whole film, and there was a dialogue that touched me deeply. Suyuan said she "never expect everything" and "only hope", but June replied, "Every time you hope for something I couldn't deliver, it hurt." It's hard not to feel the same way. Just as Suyuan said, "It's not wrong to hope", and she has always understood that June, although not as intelligent as Waverly, has "best-quality heart", but undoubtedly has already caused a lot of harm in June's growth.
Yes, there are many similarities between the parent-child relationships in the movie Joy Luck Club and those in my real life. Both involve a strong bond between parents and child(me), with the parent providing guidance and support to we children . Both also involve a certain amount of tension and conflict, as the parent and child struggle to understand each other and navigate their relationship. Finally, both involve a deep love and respect for one another, even when disagreements arise.
Growing up in a rather typical Chinese family, it’s natural that I can resonate with mothers and daughters in the film. I felt as if seeing myself as a little girl when watching Suyuan compelling June playing the piano. I tried to play the piano in primary school for like four years but quit out of my instinctual resentment against the dull chunk. Moreover, what has really raised my strong empathy and resonation is Suyuan’s words, “only one kind of daughter could live in this house: obedient kind.” What a powerful yet piercing announcement! My mother is somehow creepily controlling over me. For example, I’m not allowed to do things that go beyond her personal principle, however reasonable the thing is. It’s strange for me to still unconditionally be the obedient one in the case that I have reached adulthood. Parents are the natural custodians of children, which, however, doesn’t mean that parents are always in the dominant position. We don’t compare dominators to guides. Children simply feel aggrieved under this so-called cultivation, thus gradually losing enthusiasm.
To be honest, I was brought up in an open-minded and liberal family, so in my parent-child relationship, I hardly find something in common with those in this movie. Basically, my parents respect my options and in most case they tend to give me support. Both Suyuan and Lindo like bragging about their daughters. Regardless of their daughters' real interests, they regard their daughters as means to boost themselves. In contrast, my parents never force me to do anything. They only believe that if I make up my mind to do something, just be persistent and never give up easily.
In my parent-child relationship, actually there are little in commen. If I must say, I think, maybe I have some similar experience with June and Waverley, that my mother once forced me to practise calligraphy in my childhood. It was really a hard time to go through. Just like Waverley to June, I always have to be compared with other more excellent children in my mother's words. However, luckily, I gradually found my talent and interest in calligraphy and I am now grateful for that my mother helped me insist on it. Otherwise I would not find such a hobby right now.
Yes, actually I grow up in a traditional Chinese family, in which my parents have high expectations on me and are strict with me. There are a lot of similarities between my mother and the character Lindo in the film Joy Luck Club. For example, my mother also pushes me to do something I'm reluctant to do and likes to show off the achivements I've gained. Sometimes I feel stressful and helpless as she always says," I'm doing all this for your own good." It seems like a kind of moral kidnapping. However, as I grow up as a young adult, I talk to her about my own opinions and she gradually accepts them and changes her mind. And I know clearly that what she has done is deeply influenced by the environment and the traditional ideas.
I think the parent-child relationship in this movie is common in China. As I was growing up, I did find many relationships similar to the ones in the movie. But to be honest, I was raised up liberally. My parents have never forced me to do anything. The similarity is that my parents are committed to teaching me independence and how to love myself. Just as An Mei said, "I was raised the Chinese way, I was taught to desire nothing, to swallow other people's misery and to eat my own bitterness." So my mother taught me the opposite.